Discover the heartwarming journey of a couple who transformed their lives by embracing a child with disabilities. Their story reveals the power of unconditional love and the incredible bo...
The arrival of a child in a family signifies immense love and joy, along with moments of tenderness and unforgettable experiences. However, it also brings challenges, sometimes crises, that allow both children and parents to grow, change, and become even closer. Parents are the ones who help a little person navigate the difficult stages of growth. Thousands of children are deprived of this support, including many with disabilities.
Individuals willing to welcome children deprived of parental care or orphans into their families must indicate all preferences in applications: the child's age, gender, and health status. Often, prospective adoptive or foster parents hesitate to take in children with disabilities. This factor can drastically alter a family's usual life, and some may find themselves unprepared for it. However, giving birth to biological children also carries risks. It is never certain if everything will be alright. In any case, we accept when we truly love.
“We asked God to give us the child He wanted”
This family's story is about all-encompassing, accepting, and unconditional love capable of healing. Anastasia and Andriy are a couple of artists from Stryi in the Lviv region. She is 39, and he is 43. For years, they dreamed of having a child but did not have a biological one. They started considering adopting a child waiting for a family.
“We met Yolanta through the Salesian sisters, who were trying to help a mother and her child by sheltering both. But it happened that Yola was left alone. Later, the sisters were looking for parents for her, and we were looking for a child. That's how our daughter came to be,” Anastasia begins her story.
At that time, Yolanta was five and a half years old. Now she is nine and attends the second specialized class at one of the schools in Stryi. Yolanta has a disability. Her diagnosis includes congenital defects in the nervous system, agenesis of the corpus callosum, microcephaly; and congenital leg defects — hip dislocation. The child was born small, took a long time to walk, and her development was further delayed by her time in child care institutions. It was her grandfather who taught her to walk by visiting her there.
I ask Anastasia what they felt and if they were afraid. In a situation where a child requires constant care and specialist assistance, it would be entirely natural to feel scared. Questions arise: Will we cope? What will our life be like? Will the child accept us as her own?
“For me, as a woman, it was probably a bit easier. My husband contemplated the idea of welcoming any child into the family more carefully. Of course, there were fears. We understood that it wouldn’t be as easy as with children who do not have serious health issues. But the main thing is to know that there are people to turn to in times of need and to understand that you are not alone with your problems. You know, we prayed and asked God to give us the child He wanted. That is, we were ready to accept her if we felt she was ours. This happened with Yolanta — there was a feeling that she was our own daughter, and everything would be fine despite all the diagnoses, difficulties, and challenges,” Anastasia recalls.
1 When the little one entered her new family, she was in poor condition. From birth, she required more attention and care than average infants, but her biological mother was unable to provide that. Later, she abandoned the child. The girl experienced severe stress, which further deteriorated her health.
They did not rush to take the child to her new home. It was important to make a smooth transition. At first, Anastasia and Andriy would visit the Salesian sisters, staying overnight. They played with Yolanta and kept in touch when they were away. The girl grew up in a closed environment, so they prepared her for a life that would be different — it would become filled with love. The sisters did everything they could in six months to help the child adjust.
“Our little one came to us after surgery on her leg, and all care was left to the sisters. Rehabilitation was slow; initially, the child had to be in iron stirrups. Once they were removed, it was difficult for Yola to walk independently. Adjusting to the new place was also not easy for her. At first, it was hard for her to go outside, where there was constant movement and noise. We searched for quiet streets. Over time, Yolanta adapted, relaxed, and began to feel more confident. Additionally, there were various issues related to self-aggression. Honestly, you cannot prepare for such things. You can never fully imagine what awaits you. But we worked with specialists from the 'Circle of Family,' had a diagnostic meeting with Oleg Romanchuk — a child and adolescent psychiatrist, psychotherapist; and attended intensive sessions (comprehensive meetings with various specialists). My husband and I completed the 'Family School' from 'Circle of Family' to know how to act, what resources we have, and how to strengthen our strengths,” Anastasia shares.
Then, the full-scale invasion of Russia occurred. Along with the constant danger and anxiety, Yolanta's condition worsened.
“Another urgent surgery was needed, after which complications arose. The child could not stand on her foot, and the doctors could not understand the cause. Rehabilitation yielded no results. There were many challenges and a lot of work. Yolanta could not walk,” the woman remembers.
Anastasia and her husband turned to a rehabilitation center in Modrychi. There was no state support, so they had to seek private centers that could work with the child. Yolanta was temporarily placed in a family — they waited a year and a half for the biological mother to lose her parental rights. It was precisely because the child lacked status that the guardians could not proceed further and could not explain their rights.
“We were simply issued a certificate stating that Yola was temporarily placed in the family. Such an option is possible, but it is rarely used: only when the benefit for the child outweighs the potential harm. Because when the court proceedings are ongoing, it is still unknown whether the child will return to her biological family, go to an institution, or stay in the new family. An exception was made for us because if Yolanta had gone to an institutional facility, her already complicated condition would have worsened significantly,” the woman points out.
There were no doubts
Anastasia shares that she and her husband had no doubts that Yola was their child. They explained their choice to their parents. Friends were somewhat surprised because she was a child with a disability. But over time, they began to understand that there was nothing strange about it.
“It seems to me that we felt like family right away. Yola started calling us mom and dad. She was equally eager for family relationships. I know many different stories, including those where a child has been in a family for three years, and the mother tells me that the bond has not formed. Ours was immediate. Yolanta is very kind, open, and sociable. Perhaps that contributed too. Of course, considering the disability and character traits, there are various moments. But I had no fears when we accepted the child. I knew we had to go through different things — that's life. We need to be flexible because the child grows, changes, and new challenges arise. This is normal. Just like with all children,” Anastasia recounts.
The woman says that the hardest moments were Yolanta's surgeries. Not even the process itself, but the fact that the child was in a state where the guardians could do nothing. They did an X-ray in the area, and the doctors urgently referred them to Lviv. War, air raid alerts. It was a challenging phase.
Initially, the couple tried to manage everything on their own. But later, grandmothers got involved, and friends supported them morally and financially when they were raising funds for the girl's expensive rehabilitation. God, prayer, support from loved ones, and the constant involvement of specialists formed a support circle that allowed Anastasia and Andriy to get through what seemed to be an insurmountable challenge.
“Every child needs a family”
The woman is convinced that every child needs a family. Especially children with disabilities or various ailments. These are little people who cannot cope with the problems that life has thrown their way. And do we, as adults, always manage without our loved ones?
“In a family environment, a child receives therapeutic healing. Simply because they begin to be loved. This cannot be achieved in any institution, even if it has the best conditions